As evidenced by Mom’s accomplished life (in her obituary), she used her God-given gifts wisely as a teacher and leader, a woman of unwavering faith and most importantly how to be a strong mother. She loved her life, loved nature, and loved her family with all of her heart.
In her later years, Mom was still engaged in her world. Instead of being “out in the field” with scouts, camping, church, and travel, her home became her headquarters. She stayed connected with loved ones and lived her life purposefully.
Each morning, she’d rise at 7 and start her day. After a light breakfast, she’d read her daily devotions, then flip open her laptop to visit family and friends on Facebook. She’d post a line each day on her own Facebook page, who visited or called.
Mom then extracted the puzzle section from her daily Hartford Courant. She discarded all the rest of the paper into her recycling pin. Then Mom would read. She often had two or more books going at once, in totally different genres from her extensive book collection. Once she was bouncing back and forth between “Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm” and “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”. She read everything from the Bible to contemporary writers to the classics.
She’d have lunch, read, and play solitaire for hours. She’d gaze at some of her favorite mementos. Among her treasures was a framed photo of the four of us as adults, with an old snapshot of the four of us as small children tucked in the bottom corner of the frame. Her table was laden with an array of knickknacks. She had her Swedish horses, gnomes, fairy lights and a tray of tea candles. In the evenings, she’d sometimes tune into Jeopardy if family were home. On Sundays, she’d dial into her church worship service via Zoom.
After Mom passed, I came upon her amazing Girl Scout sash. It was hanging on a shelf in a recessed closet, near the place where she sat at her dining room table. Festooned with 35 neatly arranged badges, a “Be Prepared” patch, Troop number, her fly-up wings into Junior Girl Scouts, and a host of trefoil pins—This sash, struck me anew, that it is not only a treasure, but a testimony to who Mom was throughout her youth and the rest of her life.
Mom earned all these badges and wore her sash in the mid 1950s. Some badges are easy to identify— cooking, sewing, nature, babysitting. But many more are obscure and our family cannot wait to identify each of them when the 1955 Girls Scout handbook arrives. Thank you, Ebay!
The sash had probably hung in this closet for years, just within her reach or for her to peek at. Because it was only a few feet away from where she sat, and not stuffed in a box or a drawer somewhere, means it was very special to her.
Mom never brought out her beautiful, well-adorned sash to say, “Hey, look what I accomplished. Look at all my badges!” That wasn’t her style. She never bragged or brought attention to herself. Even when Brenda and I were in Girl Scouts, she had us focus on our own endeavors.
I hope this incredible sash brought Mom quiet affirmation of her many accomplishments. Reminders of her sturdy, foundational years, growing up on a farm with supportive and stable parents, loving Swedish immigrant grandparents, in a houseful of siblings, out in the middle of Higganum woods. Her scouting years and years of faith helped her to truly Be Prepared with all of life’s ups and downs.
I’d like to take a moment now and share a make-believe badge that I think Mom would have easily earned in her adult-years, The Good Mother Badge. I picture it a green circle like the other badges, here, with an embroidered mother bird, her wings spread wide over a nest of four baby birds. The birds of course, are named Tanja, Brenda, Eddie, and Andy.
Let’s imagine the requirements mom would have easily met to earn this badge of honor, The Good Mother Badge.
- Badge Requirement one: Enrich Your Children in the Arts: An easy one. Mom read Greek and Roman literature to Brenda and me as toddlers, as she balanced quality time with us and studying for her master’s degree. More age-appropriate reading matter included “Peter Rabbit” by Beatrix Potter, “The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh” by A.A. Milne, and Johnny Gruelle’s, “Raggedy Ann Stories” and “Raggedy Andy Stories.” She turned us on to Aesop’s Fables, Bible stories, and Walt Disney stories in books and record sets.
On Saturdays, she drove us to (Middletown) Junior Matinees to see live productions of Peter and the Wolf and other children’s plays. Working as a library assistant, she’d come home with the latest children’s books and records for us to enjoy.
- Badge Requirement Two: Encourage Simple Pleasures:
Mom found affordable fun. We camped at state parks—-Hammonassett Beach on Long Island Sound, and Wells State Park in Massachusetts. We’d stop by Sturbridge Village and visit Aunt Edna and Uncle Ward on their working dairy farm. Every time a new kids’ movie came out, she’d load us into the old blue station-wagon and we’d head to the local drive-in! She’d pop tons of popcorn and mix a jug of Kool-aid. We saw first runs of classics including “Escape to Witch Mountain”, “The Apple Dumpling Gang”, and “Herby Rides Again!”
Mom was director of Camp Higganumpus, a fantastic Girl Scout day-camp in town. We’d trek the big hill to the Girl Scout cabin in the woods on Hull Avenue. She and other leaders showed us how to make sand candles, macrame owl necklaces, and make ice cream. We also had capers like cleaning out the outhouse with lye!
- Badge Requirement Three, “Raise them with Faith.” From an early age, Mom taught us about God and Jesus. She led us in nightly prayers, and we’d say grace before we’d eat, even if it was over a peanut butter and jelly picnic.
She brought us to church, “making us” go until we were 18 years old. She lit advent candles and read Luke 2, every Christmas morning before we opened presents. When we’d come to her with a complaint or worry, she’d always say, “Pray on it.” As we grew older, she never pushed us or guilted us into practicing her style of faith. She simply modeled grace, forgiveness and personal devotion.
- Badge Requirement Four: Teach them Good Manners Mom had class. She instilled in us to always use good manners. “Please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me,” were standards. We were not allowed to swear or even say the word “f-a-r-t.”
While we always had good food and decent clothing, Mom taught us the importance and necessity of sharing. Brenda and I shared a hairdryer she’d worked hard to give us one Christmas when she was a single-parent. She’d split a Hershey bar into four equal pieces when there was just one to go around. All in all, we never really noticed what we were missing. Her her love and strength made it good. Above all, Mom never played favorites. We all felt her love for us equally and unconditionally…always.
